Honey Boo Boo Review

This has got to be one of the most shocking reality shows I've witnessed.  TLC, you've outdone yourselves.  But I really think that the show should be named "Here Comes Mama Bear"  because we all know she's the star.....

So from the mouths of the reality stars themselves, I give you the highlights of this weeks show.....

Mama Bear quotes:

"Pageants are not a cheap sport."

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to coupon"

"When the apocalypse hits at the end of the year, I could sell that roll of toilet paper we got for free for freakin' $500!"-mama

"What's the apocalypse?"- chubbs

"When the zombies attack!" -mama

"I wouldn't say I let myself go, I just look good when I wanna look good"  (insert cackle and air kiss)

"I ain't no barbie doll.  But I ain't the ugliest person in the world.  Trust me.  I have seen some jacked up people!"

"As you can tell, I got some of my vajiggle jaggle cleaned up."

Honey Boo Boo quotes:

 I hope mama don't eat glitzy.  She eats everything else" (glitzy is her pet miniature pig)

"Elvis is Santa Claus' helper.  He helps Santa make toys.  I know this cause my daddy told me."

"Mama got fork lift feet!"  

"I love smages"  (massages)

Under Paid Salon Worker, who wishes she'd called in sick quote:  
(yes- they went to a salon.  Poor salon workers!)

"When the family first came in, it was very, very overwhelming.  And their personalities, big, very big!"

"I have not heard of a "fork lift foot" before.  That was a first."

"It was a good experience.  Well.... it was an experience.  I think I need to go home now."  -salon worker.  

Poor, poor salon worker.

Sugar bear gets no respect:

Sugar bear (Honey Boo Boo's dad) bought mama a bronze statue of a deer for their 8 yr anniversary.  Mama wasn't thrilled but he said it reminded them of all the road kill that they've collected, cleaned and bbq'd  on the weekends.  Then he lovingly pets the bronze deer.  Hmm.  I'll let you figure that one out.

Lessons I've learned watching this show:

-I'm paying too much for toilet paper.

-Apparantly Elvis was shorter than we thought.

-The bible forgot to mention zombies when it talks about the apocalypse.

-Maybe I should show my 10 yr old what salon workers REALLY do before she decides to go to beauty school.

-I'm never EVER complaining about my dinner & movie date nights or anniversary gifts.  Because, it's not a buffet dinner and a bronze deer replica of road kill.  (Cue the romance.)

Project: Document Life

"They grow up so fast, enjoy it."  Those words are spoken to every mother at some point in her life.  This advice is usually given to me at a grocery store check out with a toddler who is trying to shove candy in their pockets or throwing a tantrum.  (Not quite the moment I want to remember lady, thanks though.)  Those words do haunt me though.  It's hard to enjoy it all.  Motherhood feels overwhelming much of the time.  But I know someday, I'm going to be the one handing out that advice and wishing I had stopped to snuggle my kids more while they still wanted me around.  And so I'm taking on a new challenge that I found on this website,  Jenny Collier Photography.  She put together a brilliant plan.  Document Life.  52 photo prompts to help you capture those every day moments that we don't want to forget.  I can't wait to get started!  Every week I will be participating in her photo challenge.  And at the end of 52 weeks I will be making a photo book.  Perfect and simple and so up my alley!

Week one:  Favorite Summer activity

We obviously chose chocolate and ice-cream.  Our family has no choice, we practically bleed chocolate!

You only have to take one picture.  Obviously their gooey faces make me snap happy!  And instagram isn't required.  But it's what I had handy after getting their "back to school hair cuts".  Next week's challenge is FAVORITE BOOK.  Go here to see all the photo prompts.  And get your camera happy fingers ready because you're about to "enjoy it" and you can just tell that little old lady at the check out SO!

progress

I'm impatient.  I want what I want and I want it now.  Snap my fingers and my room to be complete.  If I don't lose a pound a day, I want a new diet.  So you can imagine how this "life changing happiness project" and "new house to decorate" scenarios are about putting me over the edge.  I'm about a  half box of Sees chocolates away from a mental break down.  (oh how those pineapple truffles and marzipan can solve problems!)  So with the paint completed, now comes the fun part.  Decorating.  Haven't figured out the details yet but here is stage one of morgan's room....  Photo's ala phone aka: lame photos.

Paint:  Color is Adriatic Mist from Behr



I am loving this color. So much, that I painted another bedroom this color!



 

See what I mean?  Needs some work on the finishing touches.  Curtains are stumping me.  Black & white?  Turquoise?  Plain white?  Hot pink?  More pattern?  Less pattern?  And of course my windows are too tall for store bought drapes, so sewing will be involved.  Boo.




I'm thinking maybe these curtains from ikea.  But I'll have to add about 12'' of another fabric to make them long enough.  Plain black fabric and add some ruffles?

 Or these are some fabrics from my favorite online store and maker.  Fabrics.com and Premier Prints.

So there's my progress report.  I need to at least get drapes in here.  Got any suggestions?   My daughter hasn't slept in this room since we've moved in.  But on a plus note- it sure stays cleaner without her in it!

Project Happy: Week one, more ENERGY

So I read the Happiness Project book over a month ago.  I was totally inspired to start my own happy project.  I sat down and immediately made some goals.  And I knew I wanted to blog it.  But I hesitated.  Blogging my goals means (deep breath) actually DOING it.  (Big sigh)   I need to feel accountable to someone to really stick my plan, but I wasn't ready to commit.  Still not sure I'm fully ready, but I gotta take the plunge.  After all, this is supposed to make me happier right?

My Week One Challenge:  More Energy!

So how do I get more energy?  As Gretchen did in her book, I'm breaking it down to sleeping more, eating right and exercising.  Shocker right?  These are basics for every day life.  But oh so hard!  In The  Happiness Project book she reinforced how much sleep you get a night actually determines how happy you are.  She says that there was a study that showed getting an extra hour of sleep a night would make people just as happy as receiving a $30,000.00  raise?  Not so sure about that, I think I'd much rather have the $30K but I guess it's worth a shot.  I once read an article on sleeping that said that people vary on how much sleep they need.  To find out how much sleep you need, go to bed and wake up on your own without an alarm clock (aka: fussy baby) and see how long you slept.  Most people are happy with 7.5 hours of sleep.  I tried it on a weekend and guess what?  7.5 is my lucky number too!  Most nights I only sleep 6.5 hours, so apparently giving myself an extra hour will feel like I just got a windfall.  We all know the statistics of exercise and how that makes us feel.  And we all know the saying, "you are what you eat" so I'm not going to give any explanations of why I'm including these two factors into my happy equation this week.

 So here are my actual goals for this week:

1.  This week I will sleep 7.5 hours each night.

2.  This week I will work out 5 times, anything I want to do.

3.  This week I will eat clean.  Only fresh fruits and veggies and lean meats.  (Coke Zero, I'm pretty sure grows on a tree right?)  And no crinkly packages!  This is one of Gretchen's rules too as crinkly packages tend to contain a lot of unnecessary calories.

4.  I will drink 80-100oz of water each day.

These are all things I should be doing anyway, but this summer has been a lazy one and I fell off the wagon on every one of these goals.  I told you in my previous post that my happiness scale is about a 7.5 today.  I'll let you know where it is in one week from today.  And a heads up:  next week's goal is organizing.  And I know some closets who have yet to meet her!  Wish me good luck on finding my happys!

And here's a little video that makes me really happy:  I cry every time I watch this.  I would love this proposal!

My Happiness Project

Have you read the Happiness Project?  I sat on the beach, watching the kids make rafts with drift wood  and got inspired by this book.  On a scale of 1 to 10 how happy am I?  I'd say about 7.5.  I'm pretty darn happy.  But lets face it, I'm a dress size away from falling off the happy wagon.  I decided when I was about 25 that happiness doesn't just happen.  It's a choice.  And it's something I have to continually work on.  Being positive doesn't come naturally to this extremely unlucky girl.  (I have the weirdest things happen to me and tend to be pretty sarcastic)  But I have to choose to focus on the positive and not dwell on the mishaps.  Here's the author's website if you haven't heard of this book, she's got great tips for starting your own project too!

So I came up with 10 things that make me really happy.  I'd love for you to come up with your own list.  I found this to be really interesting.  I had to think about exactly what it is that makes me giddy inside.  Here it is:

1.  Fresh flowers.  I buy a blooming orchid every time I see one.  I tend to like indoor flowers in pots because they last longer.  A simple orchid in my kitchen makes me happy and lasts for 2 months.  Best $9.99 ever spent!

2.  Making beds.  Doesn't matter if your room is spotless.  If the bed is disheveled, it ain't pretty.  I have to have every bed in every room made.  Every day!  Freshly changed linens make me really happy too.

3.  Clean counter tops and surfaces.  Clutter drives me crazy and tends to wear on me.  Walking in to my garage every day makes me depressed.  I've got to change that!

4.  Music.  I need to play more music when doing jobs around the house.  I tend to be angry when picking up the same room 10 times in one day.  Someone, of course not me, may tend to raise their voice and get annoyed with the same shoes and crafts left out over and over.  I think if I turned on some fun music, my attitude would change.

5.  Splurge a little.  And when I say splurge, I mean on the little things.  I noticed that I tend to be a cheapo on little things like a fun dish towel or cute paper napkins (instead of the bajillion boring pack)  that would make me smile.  When I hand my family yellow polka dot napkins at dinner, I smile.   Buy the nicer soap and not just reserve it for the guest bathroom.  Always have fun stationary on hand.  It's simple, but gives me a boost every time I use them.

6.  Make time for traditions.  I tend to feel overwhelmed instead of getting excited for Halloween or V-day.  Why not write it on my calendar and make carving pumpkins a party rather than a chore.  I tend to think about it the night before halloween and hand the kids sharpies to draw on their pumpkins.  They are always disappointed with that idea.

7.  Make little things more exciting.  I had a really good friend that made everything a game.  Movie night had a concession stand and tickets and individual bags of popcorn and treats.  Dressing up like a Princess and going to buy the newest disney princess movie.  Using the "You are special plate"  for little things like getting and A on a test or giving a talk in church.  Why aren't I doing these things?

8.  Random acts of kindness.  Doing something for others always cheers me up.   I've noticed though that doing things for friends is easier than doing them for my family.  How sad is that!  I've got to work on that.  Be nice to everyone.  Especially my own family.

9.  Dress my best every day.  Staying around the house all schlumpy makes me feel schlumpy.  And running a quick errand and hoping I don't see anyone I know, NEVER works out when I'm in sweats and unwashed hair.  I  think you are guaranteed to see more people that way!  I took a class once from a lady that said you should look your best at home for your family.  Not for the outside world.  I've taken this to heart.  I don't spend a lot of time on my appearance but I'm happy to say that I no longer own a single free t-shirt or any t-shirts for that matter!  I instantly feel better....

10.  Dates.  I must continue to date.  For my marriage and for my sanity.  Girls nights out are included too.  I have to have some time with friends.  Lunch dates once or twice a month.  Play dates with other moms and their kids and ALWAYS a Saturday night date with the hubs.  I live for these moments of sanity.

Those are what makes me happy.  So with that said.  I'm going to work on some goals, keeping in mind my daily happy factors as written above.  Each week I'm going to work on one goal and get back to you on how it's working for me.  I'd love for my blog friends to try along with me or come up with your own, but do something for yourself.  As my dad would say "Go find your happy's and come back when you have them!"

I'm starting on Monday.  So stay tuned!  My first goal is FEEL BETTER.  And after writing this list of 10,  I already do!

Honey boo boo review

Did you see TLC's "Here comes Honey Boo Boo"?  Um, it was mouth dropping horrific and I could't take my eyes off the subtitles the entire time.   (subtitles are necessary for that redneck accent!)  I'm going to just give you a play by play of the entire 1 hour, 2 show premier.  I was going to have my 10 yr old daughter help with commentary but this show is so inappropriate I couldn't have her watch after the preview!  So think of this post as watching with directors commentary on.

-So the family consists of  Mama, Sugar Bear (dad), Honey boo boo Child (Alana age 5), Punkin/Chickadee (Anna 17), and  Chubbette or Chubbs (15).  Chubbs isn't a fan of her name and you can't blame her.

-Mmm..... cheese balls for breakfast? Sure Honey boo boo!

-"I ain't the most beautimous out of the box" says Mama.  Oh Mama, now why would you say something like that?

-Let me eat my cereal while you wash your hair in the sink.  Because, apparently baths are just gross.

-Redneck games definition: "It's like the Olympics for Rednecks, but with a lot of missing teeth and a lot of (bum) cracks showing" -Mama

-Ooooh,  ooooh,  me, me, me!  I wanna bob for raw pigs feet with my mouth!  Mama lets Chubbs do that event but won't let her get into the swimming pond for fear of germs.  She's got standards ya know....

-"You shouldn't walk around with your vajiggle jaggily hanging out.  It's like her body is eating her bikini!" -Mama

-Weight loss tip:  Apparently passing gas 15-20 times a day is healthy and will help you lose weight.  (Thanks Mama, I will make sure to try that!)

-Honey Boo Boo lost at the natural beauty pageant so naturally they bought her a teacup pig.  Naturally!  Properly named him Glitzy.

-Honey Boo Boo's stomach becomes quite the narrator.

-Lets get a close up of Mama scratchin' her bugs, blowing her nose and sneezing multiple times per episode and would someone get that family some Beano!

-Poor etiquette instructor.  She looks as horrified as every American watching this show.  She sadly has to explain that passing gas and burping at the table are never ok.  The girls just look confused.....

-After the first unsuccessful etiquette class Honey Boo Boo says "anything classy is from stupid people."

-Mama says "No one can be proper and etiquettly all the time."  Etiquettly.  My new favorite non-word.

-Awe, this should be their next Christmas Card.  Some real cuties here.....

-The 17yr old pregnant Chickadee is the only one that seems classy.  Wow, did I just type that?

-I'm never eating biscuits again.

So there ya go.  If you watched the show, you can share my horror.   I strangely feel like eating some vegetables and showering after that.  It's just wrong on so many levels.  But don't you worry, I'll be watching next week....

Who put the pain in painting?

It's happening.  Paint is up.  Rooms are torn apart.  And I don't know where to begin.  Oh, and the money tree dried up.  (You know how people say paint is cheap?  Um, they lied.  Not so cheap when you're doing 5 rooms)  Good thing I'm a color genius or that would be disastrous!  (insert sarcasm)  So my next projects will have to be high dollar wannabe's on a DIY budget.

Here's my torn apart house- don't judge!



The office:  Untouched since we moved in.  Don't know what to do with these dark doors and moldings and dark shutters.  It seems too pretty to paint and too formal for a crazy girl like me.  But that's my new dining room light peeking out of that box.  It's 4ft of awesome!




What the cheese balls?  This is where I found "the boy" when it had been too quiet for too long.  He does have shorts on.  FYI.  I was impressed that he had any clothes on and the sink wasn't full of water.    But the rest?  There's just no words for it.....



And with those last two photos of my chaos I'd like to leave you with a little sneak peek of the stripes....  Excuse me while I do a happy dance........ You know how I love me some stripes!

It only took 5 trips to Home Depot to buy paint.  Apparently my walls are paint thirsty!  I can't wait to get my new light fixture up an going.  But I've got to leave that to "the hubs".  I'm pretty sure I don't have the skill-set or patience to install a light, since I just blew a GF switch in the kids bathroom and hallway and now the painter is painting with flashlights. (Crossing my fingers it looks ok and I won't have a lot of paint touch ups to do)   I do know how to switch a breaker and it still ain't working.  Um, yeah, that's my life today.