Can I get paid for being a nosey know it not?

You may not know this about me, but along with my love of someday winning Publisher's, (I'm on a first name basis with them) and my love of Judge Judy, I also would love to be a Dear Abby writer.  (Of course it would have to be called Dear Annie)  Giving out advice that's ACTUALLY solicited?  And get paid?  Wow!  I've been doing it wrong all these years!  So I'm going to pretend that these letters addressed to the actual Dear Abby are really for me, and give it my spin. Maybe after I accomplish this goal, Publishers Clearing House will be waiting with a big fat check-y?

DEAR ABBY: (she obviously meant) Dear Annie:  I am a 31-year-old wife and mother. My husband, "Jake," works 40-plus hours a week, while I am a stay-at-home mom. My daughter, who is almost 3, keeps me on my toes.

In the evenings and on weekends, Jake does yard work or works in the garden. I hate it because I'm with our daughter all day, every day, and he expects me to watch her while he's outside working.

I dislike yard and garden work and don't like being outside unless I am completely comfortable. I also have health/physical issues that keep me from being as active as I would like. Every weekend I feel my resentment and anger growing over this issue.

Jake says it is necessary for us to have a garden, and I agree. But why must I have all the responsibility of caring for our daughter even on weekends? I'd like it if Jake would stay in with us and give up on some of the outside activities. This is something we argue about at least once a week. What do you suggest? -- SECOND TO A SHRUB IN OREGON

Dear Second to a Shrub,

You have written the right woman!  While some might think that this was a petty argument, I do not.  As I may or may not have had these arguments as well.  Except, I don't work in the yard or hang out in it due to ENORMOUS Texas spiders and fire ants.  And don't get me started on the 900 degree weather or my husband's 80 to 100 hours of work a week.....  (This letter was really about me right?)  Anyway, you're exhausted.  I get it.  Your vital role as a mother is a bit mundane.  You need to switch things up a bit.  Maybe come to an agreement on the hours he works on the yard.  During nap time maybe?  Earlier in the morning before the baby wakes up?  The fact is, he probably enjoys gardening and you do not.  You need a break.  Take one.  Ask for some time off.   And not just on the weekends.  After all, full time employees get an hour for lunch and a half hour in breaks a day.  Are you giving yourself that?  If you get a chance to go do something for yourself maybe you won't feel resentful.  

DEAR ABBY: Dear Annie:  I'm really bad when it comes to speaking. It's hard for me to squeak out the few words I can. I am shy and not very sociable, so when I'm with people, even my two friends, I feel like I come across as rude. I never have the right things to say. When I'm with my family, I don't usually have this problem.

In public, it seems like everyone else is so much more interesting than I am. Making conversation is a lot of trouble. I know this sounds silly, but do you know if there is anything that can be done about it? I heard you had a booklet about being more social. Is it still published? If so, how can I get one? -- VICTORIA IN SOUTH CAROLINA

Dear Soft Spoken Victoria,
Hmm, I gotta say I don't relate to this problem.  I kind of have the opposite problem.  I don't have a book published on this, but I'm so gonna get on it!  You are way over thinking this.  I'm telling ya, it's better to be oblivious.  Assume everyone loves you.  Assume that they're dying to hear what you have to say.  They are hanging on every word.  They showed up to the party just hoping that you'd be there.  The truth is, once you realize that not everyone is going to love ya, (because lets be honest, do you love everyone?) does it really matter?  No one is perfect.  If your current social group doesn't find you to be as hilarious as your family does, then find new friends.  Life is too short to waste it on trying to impress others.  And as far as feeling rude for not speaking, smile more!  No one will find you rude if you're smiling and listening!  In fact, that's my best crowd.

DEAR ABBY: Again, you meant Dear Annie:  I have this little boy I tutor. He is 7 and says he loves me. I'm 18. I try to tell him I'm way too old and he isn't my type, but all he says is, "Age ain't nothing but a number." Help! I need to know what to do. -- ALEX IN NEW JERSEY

Dear Alex in Jersey:  This kid sounds like he stepped right off of a "Jersey Shore" episode!  I'm imagining him wearing a velour sweat suit, lots of gold chains and overly tanned.  (I should probably meet some more New Jersey natives because I imagine them all to be a mix between a rapper in a music video, big hair with way too much product in it that they shouldn't get too close to open flames, overly accessorized and sleeping every night in a tanning bed.)  Anyway, chalk this up to a compliment and don't get so weirded out.  That's the sheer awesomeness of kids.  You're an immediate rock star in their eyes if you show any interest in their well being!  Since he's big on numbers- simply tell him when his I.D has a 1 and an 8 in the age section you'd be happy to discuss extra curriculum activities.....

You're welcome people.  You got all this advice from an obvious pro for free.  It's your lucky day.  Any other questions you got for Dear Annie and want them to be blogged- please send them to Andrea@annielane.net.  I expect my email box to be full by noon!  (insert sarcasm)