Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: Review

I would like to say "You are very welcome."  I know my weekly breakdown of TLC's new train wreck of a show is personally changing your life.  I do the unthinkable, watching this horrific family, and save you from killing your own brain cells.  You are welcome my blog friends.  I am saving you from upchucking your last meal or showering for the second time today.  Both things I have done after every episode of Honey Boo Boo.  My review is basically saving the world, this I know......

So here's this week's breakdown titled Sketti:

Opening scene:  (Make sure children are out of the room or they'll get an anatomy lesson you won't ever forget! P.S. Children should never watch this show)  With their pregnant sister's contractions and mama bears description of what's going on, the anatomy lesson ends with pregnant sister peeing on the couch and refusing to change clothes.  Apparently, she can magically pee on a couch and not get it on herself.  (At this time I get up and wash my hands because really, someone needs to!)

The convenience store workers find the family to be their sole source of entertainment with their daily trips. They're pretty sure the store would close without their business. They claim that Punkin rocks the "Bam Bam" look.  And in case you didn't know what that look was- it's the no shoes in public and un-combed hair.  And of course a filthy shirt.  I have yet to see her in a clean shirt.  Lets just say she likes to save some food for later and keeps it handy....

"Guess Who's Breath?" Game.  Doesn't your family wear blind folds and take turns smelling each others breath?  Really?  You don't?  That's so odd.  Because I've always wanted to determine who's breath smells like dead fish or who smells like they've never met a tooth brush?  I'm pretty sure that family doesn't believe in regular brushing.  And floss?  Never! (Punkin- who is becoming my favorite because she's just so dang honest, admits she only brushes her teeth for special occasions.  I wonder what a special occasion would be for this family?  Belly flops in the mud pit?  Dumpster Diving maybe?)  Doesn't this breathalyzer game sound like a family reunion tradition in the making or what?

Lemonade Stand Honey Boo Boo style:  2 quarts lemon juice.  5lbs sugar.  No kidding.  I'm pretty sure you chew the lemonade with all that sugar.  It's their own family's diabetic coma recipe.  Oh, and make sure you DON'T wash your hands.  Oh, and because you're serving this to the public, you've got to lick the pitcher and the mixing spoon and stick it back in.  Mmmm, mmm, good.  (As an open germaphobe, I have to shower just watching this show.  There are at least 25 cleanliness violations in this 30 min show)

Favorite quote:  "It's been awhile since I've had road kill in my belly."  -A sad bellied Honey Boo Boo

And I'm sure people will be pinning this Secret Sketti Recipe:

Ingredients:  -A whole carton of "I can't believe it's not butter"
                    -A little bit of ketchup
                    -Melt it in the microwave
                    -Cooked spaghetti "sketti" noodles

"Table manners aren't important cuz we don't even eat at the table"-Honey Boo Boo Child

She pretty much just summed up the whole show.....

And again, you're welcome.  I'm off to shower.