You know most people would come home from a week long Disney World Vacation and write a book on what to do and places to eat and tricks if you're going to the park. I would like to write a book on what NOT to do. Do NOT for any reason bring a 2 yr old boy. Sounds cruel I'm sure to some, "But he would have so much fun!" you say. "Oh, he'd love this Toy Story ride!" you'd think. Well let me be very clear. He will not love it. He will not even get what's going on. He will run under EVERY roped off area, he will dive under strangers legs and run to the front of the line and you'll be stuck behind a mass of people terrified and completely embarrassed. Wondering if you really want to chase after to him, because then people will think he belongs to you even though you adamantly deny knowing the child and say as loud as you can "Let's take you back to your mom, she will be so worried about you!" While Disney fools you with cartoon characters that it's a child friendly place. It is not designed for my two year old escape artist. My favorite was fishing my son from underneath a strangers table during breakfast. Yes, he ran UNDER their table and laid down across their feet and did the limp fish because Piglet held his hand. Lovely. I also loved him getting "fresh" with the girl on the bus because she had a drink and I forgot a sippy cup at the hotel. He started rubbing his hands up and down her thighs and batting his eyes. Awkward! And don't even get me started on all the carts of toys everywhere. I knew it would be awful if we went in to the stores even with my 6 & 9 year old. But you can't avoid them when they're outside too. My son doesn't quite get the concept of payment and we may have a future clepto on our hands. I'm surprised we only spent $100 on toys while we were there. And that was without setting foot in the stores! Don't even get me started with trying to get him to sleep at night. He literally bounced off walls. I'm not exaggerating. I have witnesses and a few upset hotel neighbors to vouch. The kid did not sleep. Energizer bunny became his new nickname. Ever pulled an all nighter? Well, we just pulled an all weeker! We got an average of 4 hours of quiet in a 24 hour period. I'm looking blood shot in every photo!
I know I sound like the trip was awful. And it would have been, had our parents not been there to witness and laugh about this crazy kid.
My mom took him for the whole day while we battled the rain at Epcot. The kid is great at home, as long as you don't strap him to any chairs or strollers! He just has to be free! We also got to have a midnight date just the hubs and me at Magic Kingdom. The park is open for extended hours if you stay at their hotels and we took advantage. Pineapple floats at midnight while people watching in the light rain. Sigh, we finally had a magical moment. Thank you mom & dad!
The flight home I think will scar the most in our minds. It took 3 hours longer to get home and we were on a plane for a total of 6 hours. It was a 14hour day of travel with the flight delay & it felt every bit of 14 hours! The thing I noticed when going through the airports is how little people smile. The people behind us look annoyed by our crazy amount of bags, coats, strollers and children. The people at cinnabon were annoyed I wanted 4 cinnamon rolls. "4! You want 4?! Luelle- this girl wants 4? Can we even do 4?" I thought to myself, it was a good thing I was feeling like sharing mine and didn't order 5! Secuurrrty, Se-cure-a-ty! (in my best Bon Qui Qui voice) was beyond rude. Honestly, they act more like Prison Wards than airport security.
So after this trip I decided to do a little test. I'm going to challenge each reader (and my husband) to smile at EVERY person they see for the next two days. And it has to be genuine!
Less of this picture above and more of this picture below.
Guy cuts you off in traffic, that's ok, smile! Rudy pants at the grocery store, SMILE! Checker who is on his phone the whole time he's ringing you up, Smile! I'm curious if it will actually make me happier, given it's natural to be depressed in January and post-partum vacation. Remember the rules, smile genuinely at everyone for the next two days and then tell me what happens. I'm curious. I could either make people happy or get flipped off. Might go either way, but it will be a story to tell!