Thursday, August 9, 2012
Honey boo boo review
Did you see TLC's "Here comes Honey Boo Boo"? Um, it was mouth dropping horrific and I could't take my eyes off the subtitles the entire time. (subtitles are necessary for that redneck accent!) I'm going to just give you a play by play of the entire 1 hour, 2 show premier. I was going to have my 10 yr old daughter help with commentary but this show is so inappropriate I couldn't have her watch after the preview! So think of this post as watching with directors commentary on.
-So the family consists of Mama, Sugar Bear (dad), Honey boo boo Child (Alana age 5), Punkin/Chickadee (Anna 17), and Chubbette or Chubbs (15). Chubbs isn't a fan of her name and you can't blame her.
-Mmm..... cheese balls for breakfast? Sure Honey boo boo!
-"I ain't the most beautimous out of the box" says Mama. Oh Mama, now why would you say something like that?
-Let me eat my cereal while you wash your hair in the sink. Because, apparently baths are just gross.
-Redneck games definition: "It's like the Olympics for Rednecks, but with a lot of missing teeth and a lot of (bum) cracks showing" -Mama
-Ooooh, ooooh, me, me, me! I wanna bob for raw pigs feet with my mouth! Mama lets Chubbs do that event but won't let her get into the swimming pond for fear of germs. She's got standards ya know....
-"You shouldn't walk around with your vajiggle jaggily hanging out. It's like her body is eating her bikini!" -Mama
-Weight loss tip: Apparently passing gas 15-20 times a day is healthy and will help you lose weight. (Thanks Mama, I will make sure to try that!)
-Honey Boo Boo lost at the natural beauty pageant so naturally they bought her a teacup pig. Naturally! Properly named him Glitzy.
-Honey Boo Boo's stomach becomes quite the narrator.
-Lets get a close up of Mama scratchin' her bugs, blowing her nose and sneezing multiple times per episode and would someone get that family some Beano!
-Poor etiquette instructor. She looks as horrified as every American watching this show. She sadly has to explain that passing gas and burping at the table are never ok. The girls just look confused.....
-After the first unsuccessful etiquette class Honey Boo Boo says "anything classy is from stupid people."
-Mama says "No one can be proper and etiquettly all the time." Etiquettly. My new favorite non-word.
-Awe, this should be their next Christmas Card. Some real cuties here.....
-The 17yr old pregnant Chickadee is the only one that seems classy. Wow, did I just type that?
-I'm never eating biscuits again.
So there ya go. If you watched the show, you can share my horror. I strangely feel like eating some vegetables and showering after that. It's just wrong on so many levels. But don't you worry, I'll be watching next week....